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Willie Rimes Wrecks Christmas

Artist impression of Willie Rimes when he was arrested for skinny dipping while drunk doing Santa
Artist impression of Willie Rimes when he was arrested for skinny dipping while drunk doing Santa

This verse is dedicated to Ray, a.k.a. Bildoar over at the Jesters Castel at Disqus , who recently passed away. He was a big fan of Willie and his antics, his last comment on my pieces making reference to the infamous Russian Valentine our hero got mixed up with!!!

Good to see Willie back to himself. We were worried when he started to go straight and be boring while working as Santa!!!

We had heard that some budget scrimping shopping store
Much to our shock and applause
Took the brave decision, bravery of fools
Hired the bould Willie as Santa Claus

Some said that he was going straight
But just as we feared
All was not well, the story we tell
How and why the bould Willie disappeared!

He turned up to work all right
As expected he was late
A Celtic shirt neath his Santa suit
In a rather drunken state…

Drinking all the while while doing Santa
He told some poor unfortunate child
Theyd get no toys if their mammies did not bring him whiskey:
The kid did… then things got really wild!

Santa – as Willie was – got rowdy
While smoking in the store
The security guard had to throw him out
– As many a bouncer had to do before! –

He got a brick and threw it at the window
Being of useless aim, he missed
Then decided to ruin Chrismas for all the kids
Saying : “I am Santa… I don’t exist!”

Willie being Willie and Willie being drunk
Decided on a whim
There being a river there nearby
He would go for a swim.

He had no swim suit on him
So he ran across the car park half in the nip
Jumped right in before he got arrested
Sobering up with the skinny dip…

He pleaded with the judge and begged for treatment
So mercy to him was shown
The folly of that to you and I
And all bar the judge is known!

I heard from inside where he does reside
At night he howls and sings to the moon…
The craic well have when Willie is back…
With good behavior hes due out sometime soon!!!

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