Santa is real, as well known by all girls and boys
Comes every Christmas to good children and give to them their toys
But he needs helpers every Christmas to meet and greet as him
Willie Rimes applied this year upon a drunken whim!
He got a phonecall for an interview from the local Dunnes Stores
The phone was nearly not heard with the noise of his snores
But the bar man woke him with a hefty shake
Saying “Theres a call on your phone ya eejit that you must take”
Willie, barely awake panicked, thought it was the police again
– Hes on the run over a few incidents, as are many men!!! –
Eventually he pulled himself together, blamed the reception
For the garbled speech, getting himself out of jail again in perfection!
He was last seen staggering drunkenly towards Dunnes up the street
Smiling and singing at everyone he did meet
No one has seen him since, not even Simey the Slob
I heard a horrific roumer – he got hired – he got the job!!!
Dunnes Stores – an Irish supermarket chain, like ASDA, or WALMART