Willie Rimes Recalls Drinking for the First Time

The locals they were drinking
As locals do in the local bar
Who talk of lifes great ambitions
Yet never in life get very far
One lad posed a question to Willie
One about which Willie had to think
It was a long long time ago
When Willie first had a drink!

Discarded (2)

They were down at the local river
There was a hot foreign girl drinking cider
Willie was tongue tied around women then
As he has been since – yet still he sat down beside her
He drank a can without any effect
About which his mother often did warn
But then he had a second can
And thats how the legend was born!

His head felt a little dizzy
He moved over for a kiss
Slid his hand towards the girls bottom
She moved to he did miss
She got up and slapped his face
He sat there stunned and shocked
He drank a can to heal his woes
And so his world was rocked.

Ever since he drinks to get courage
As some men do, the Dutch courage crutch
But Willie being Willie us silly
And he drinks just a little too much.
Then he gets turned down
He drinks to cope with being rejected
So the cycle begins again
The hopeful ascent, then the fall of the dejected!

That wasnt the end of the story
He got up and started to shiver
For it was cold with a stiffening breeze
He promptly fell into the river.
Now that didnt impress the rest of the girls at all
Though they say to make them laugh a man is half way
The second half is the longest mile
Willie ruefully tells all to this day!

Well he hasnt looked back with the drinking since
Though it got him into trouble over the years
It wasnt until he discovered the shots
That his court record appears…
So, when ever you first take a can
Your the man now, having a drink
To poor old Willie Rimes raise a toast:
You are more like him than you think!!!!

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